Monday, February 06, 2006

Caption Competition


Thought we could have a bit of a giggle, not sure if I can offer prizes but feel that the internal pride is enough...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

The Natural World

Whilst watching the Natural World last night (it's not all Eastenders and Hollyoaks in the Harrison house you know...) I began to ask myself a few questions...

(a) Why was Michael Portillo presenting it? I mean, what's that about?

(b) Animals have evolved over thousands of years, yet creatures such as gazelles, antelope etc. do not appear to have grasped the Darwin-esque concept. Why have none of them learned to harness the idea of a television film crew?

It's a simple fact that when a BBC2 film crew parks the jeep up, probably with Attenborough lurking around, a member of their herd/flock/harem is going to die... The BBC does not want footage of gazelles, only gazelles that are about to be eaten. One of them needs to realise that wherever there is a camera, there is a big bloody tiger or cheetah about to make a kill and that somebody needs to warn the others.

(c) Why was Michael Portillo presenting it?

Kelly Again

I know that this is an issue being discussed and debated on in many areas and forums, but again I'm going to add my two-penneth following the recent developments.

The announcement has been made that there are up to ten colleagues, apparently not currently working in the profession, but whom have been cleared to do so. This will now be reviewed by an independent body...but this is too late! It is no good saying "I will stop letting any more sex offenders" into the profession, that's a bit like Peter Sutcliffe saying "okay, I've killed a few, I promise to use my hammer around the house from now on."

I am sure that everybody has their own opinion on this matter and that the discussion covers lots of areas e.g. human rights etc. But I will reiterate my previous statement, children should not enter schools and be put at risk!

Monday, January 16, 2006

CBL - who???

I am once again bewildered and befuddled by the usual array of freaks on display in the Celebrity Big Brother house. It would seem that this bunch of Z-list mis-fits are even more abstract and strange than the idiots that they pull from the general public e.g. Marco, Nadia etc. But surely there are some serious questions that need to be asked about the group in there at present...

Barrymore - Why is this man allowed back on television??? He may have been the Ant n Dec/golden boy of a previous era, but now he is a vile creature who needs to be left in a room with one of Ruth Kelly rehabilitated teachers, dressed as a naughty schoolboy. If this thing thinks that this is his big comeback on British television then he is even more misguided than Jodie Marsh, who entered the house wanting the public to love and her and see the 'real her'.

Galloway - If I had voted for this sanctamoious arse and he worked in my constituency, I'd be bloody furious! Surely he has a proper job to do and shouldn't be wasting time with Rula Lenska's pussy (sorry...).

Pete Burns - Put him down!

The list goes on but by now my temper has reached boiling point just thinking about this desperate harem of nobodies. By the way - Preston to win!!!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Kelly Gone Mad

In general I would steer clear of politics on this site, but the recent news-story heralding the return of those on the sex-offenders list, or the mythical 'List 99', cannot be ignored. I do not know all the facts, and if I declare something which is factually incorrect then you have my expressed permission to let me know, but what I do know disturbs me.

Surely Ruth Kelly should have learned by now about the world that we live in. Being a mother herself she would have been upset by such cases such as Soham, Victoria Climbie etc. But it would seem not!

I am all for second-chance and rehabilitation, but not when it comes to working with small children. Anybody who has been investigated for sex-offences against the young and innocent should not be allowed back into a primary classroom. Fact! They are perfectly entitled to carry out their second chance within the workplace - but working alongside adults who can defend themselves and not those wh cannot.

All it takes is one misjudgement, one minor error on the part of the government and a child could be in very real danger. Surely Miss Kelly can see that...

Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Years Resolutions

As the new year is here and with the bells still ringing clearly in our ears I thought it proper to offer my own insights into what 2006 will undoubtedly bring...

(a) The entertainment world will mourn the passing of Pete Doherty. In my humble opinion he is more than likely going to join the long list of 'rock-gods' tragically killed by the very lifestyle that they so actively promoted and indulged in i.e. Kurt 'I though the saftey was on' Cobain and Jimi 'seen more pills than a Superdrug pharmacist' Hendrix. On the bright side Kate, his long-suffering girlfriend, will make a mint from the publicity. So...every cloud

(b) Oasis will release another crap album, but still boldly claim that they are the biggest thing since bread, sliced or otherwise...

(c) Ian Blair will continue to authorise a shoot-to-kill-at-will policy, without actually requiring any evidence before doing so; other than the fact that the suspect may look nervous when fifteen trigger-happy policeman put semi-automatic weapons in his/her face.

(d) Chelsea will win the premier league fulfilling once again Mourhino's destiny as the 'chosen one'.

(e) Biometrically designed ID cards, displaying our finger-prints and waist-sizes, will be enforced upon the country, meaning hundreds of people within the witness protection scheme will be absolutely buggered...